


It’s a sad, rickety excuse for a truck...

by zehcnasldirgni



Category: No Fandom, Non-Fiction - Fandom, Original Work, Short Story - Fandom, nonfiction - Fandom
Genre: Automobiles, Buster Keaton - Freeform, Cars, Crappy car, Gilda Radner - Freeform, Junk, Nonfiction, Other, Piece of junk, Roseanne Roseannadanna, Saturday Night Live - Freeform, Steve McQueen - Freeform, The Great Escape, Trucks, car, non-fiction, piece of shit, snl, truck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:34:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25817368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zehcnasldirgni/pseuds/zehcnasldirgni
Kudos: 2





	It’s a sad, rickety excuse for a truck...

It’s a sad, rickety excuse for a truck. A dark, greenish-gray monstrosity with none of the amenities or horsepower. You think I kid but let me just give you a list of everything wrong with this junk heap. If you’re going on a long journey, make sure that the left front tire has air in it. Make sure your phone is fully charged before you leave because those charging ports don’t work. Pay close attention to the fuel gage. The needle doesn’t work. It says half a tank, but you could very well be running on empty. 

Forget about staying cool because even at full blast, the A/C barely works (Also, be prepared to sweat if it goes out). If it rains, the roof is guaranteed to leak which will fill the air with a horrible, musty smell when it gets warm and humid (I swear, one of these days we’re going to find mushrooms growing out of the back seat). Careful with that dirt stain in the back seat. If it gets wet, and you just happen to sit on it, you can expect people to think you soiled your pants. 

And that rattling noise? I don’t know what it is, so hold your breath and pray this thing doesn’t fall apart like an old jalopy in a Buster Keaton film. Steve McQueen couldn’t make this hunk of [expletive] look cool. Imagine him trying to make a great escape in this thing. First, he’d struggle for a good five minutes trying to get it going, the engine spitting and sputtering as he frantically turns the key. And then even if he does get it started, the truck will come to life with a loud roar that tips everyone off. He’d probably hand himself over to his enemies and think, You know what? I think I’ll take my chances in the cooler. 

I won’t shed any tears when we finally get rid of this thing. Hell, I wouldn’t mind taking it to a demolition derby and cheering as it is spectacularly wrecked. I will say one good thing about this truck: It reminds me of Gilda Radner. Because it just goes to show you, it’s always something.


End file.
